Encouraging Teens

So many people complain about teens today and their laid back, self-entitled, lazy attitudes.
I’m here to tell you that these people are missing out!

Teens can be ambitious, responsible and ready to learn, when given the right tools and support.

At this stage in life, many parents choose to sit back and let their teens enjoy their social lives. While this is not wrong, it is not necessarily what they need most from us. Our teens need our love, encouragement and the occasional push to become who they are meant to be. If we don’t keep communication open with them, not only do we miss out, but so do they.
By watching their parents or other trusted adults around them, teens are learning how to navigate in this new chapter of their life. They emulate the adults in their lives and strive to be like them.

During the teen years is such an important time to continue to introduce new concepts to our teens. Society is telling teens that they should spend these years just hanging out and causing trouble. However, these years can and should be so much more productive. We need to inspire our teens to set lofty goals and strive to meet them. We need to give them opportunities to experiment with different career paths and hobbies. We need to introduce them to adults that will inspire them to persevere through trials and encourage them to push their expectations. This is not the time, as parents, to just sit back and leave them to their own devices.

Not many teens know exactly what they want to do with their lives at this stage. The constant push to get jobs and prepare for college is scary for them. They are expected to declare a major now and know what they want to do for the rest of their lives. Way too many teens don’t know how to handle this pressure and choose to shut down and become what society says they will become. As parents, we need to show them that it’s ok to be unsure. That it’s ok to not understand it all. That it’s ok to go the route they are feeling called to go. That it’s ok to venture into different prospects. That it’s ok to be different.

This last weekend, my teen boys wanted to attend a workshop on investing in real estate about an hour away. They had been hearing it advertised on the radio for weeks and were intrigued. We decided to make it into a family trip. We easily could have just let them go, but we wanted them to know how important their ideas were to us. They called and registered themselves. We drove them, however, we did not attend with them. We let them be the young adults they are. We stayed in the area and did some sightseeing, which turned in to our own adventure.

I’m so glad we chose to go with them. Seeing the stars in their eyes as they came out of the workshop was so uplifting. Although I wasn’t initially thrilled with the fact that they chose to spend quite a bit of money on a course being offered, I couldn’t really argue, after all, it was their money. Listening to the excitement in their voices as they talked to us about what they had learned was exhilarating. Watching them pour into these books the last few days and plan together ways they will become successful with this endeavor has shown me just how mature they really are. I cannot remember the last time I saw the 2 of them working, studying and discussing anything together this seriously. This one little trip has created a bond in them that I dreamed they’d have one day.

I don’t know what will come out of this, but I know that no matter what they choose to do with this knowledge, their lives have been changed. Neither one has played on their phone, watched tv or hung out with friends in days. They are spending all their time dreaming. They are sharing all these dreams with us and explaining every detail to us. I’m not going to lie and say I enjoy listening to every single detail, but I am so grateful that they want to share so much with me.

Taking time during these teen years with your children will open doors for both of you. Standing behind them and encouraging and pushing them can set the course for their lives. So please, if you are a parent to teens, take this time to really see your child for who he/she really is. Look for ways to encourage them, push them, introduce them to new people and places. Maybe you have a teen that seems mesmerized by law shows. Think of who you know; maybe you know a legal assistant or a judge that you could introduce them to. Maybe you hear about a law firm looking for some help; campaign for your child. The most important thing to do is to look for what they are interested in, and not what you want them to be interested in. These teen years can be really tough to navigate. Handing them the steering wheel is not always easy, but try to remain in the car and help them navigate. One day both you and they will be glad you did.

This book here, Do Hard Things was one of the best books I’ve ever read, and what made me realize the importance of encouraging my teens.

What is one way that you plan to encourage your teen to “dream big”?

For my list of skills all teens need before graduating high school, check out this post:
https://learningisawayoflife.com/10-skills-all-teens-need-to-know-before-graduating-high-school/