HEART AT HOME

Please like and share!

Up until my daughter was 6, and my boys 3 & 1 ½, the main thing we did during the days, was go to the library a couple times a week for storytime.  Then I found out about a homeschool gym class offered at the YMCA once a week and we signed up. Slowly, we started joining anything and everything we heard about.  We wound up doing that gym class, plus one at a local church, a homeschool swim class through the rec dept, gymnastics, some classes at 3 local nature centers, a homeschool art class, we joined 2 homeschool co-ops, took a homeschool dance class, participated in 2 homeschool groups and their field trips, and had our small homeschool group I organized.  All of this was in addition to our evening activities which included AWANA, 4H, every sport you can name, book clubs, and anything else we found. Keeping up with our schedule was a full time job. We were busy!

This went on for about 4 years, until I found out I was pregnant with my youngest and it was an extremely high risk pregnancy, so I was on bed rest.  After that dr appointment, I went home, crawled into bed and sobbed. I was so stressed out and worried about all the activities and events my children would now miss out on.  I didn’t know what to do.

The next day, I sat the kids down and told them what was going on.  They were all so excited at the fact that I was having a baby, that they didn’t seem to understand what I was saying.  I was telling them that they could no longer do any of the activities that they were used to doing. I was telling them we were now going to be stuck in the house for the next 7 months!  They seemed unphased. So I had them make a list with me of all the activities they were involved in. We started prioritizing it. We decided we were going to cut out all the daytime activities, except the gym class at the YMCA, which was within walking distance, and we’d continue going to the library at least once a week.  No one seemed at all upset about giving up all the other activities. I was in shock.

The next day, while we were eating breakfast, we had a conversation that went like this:
Oldest son(7 at the time): So is today the day we get to start staying home?

Me: More like being forced to stay home, you mean?

7 yr old: Well, I actually like staying home.

5 yr old: So do I!

10 yr old: Just imagine all the things we’ll get to do now!?

Me: Like what?

They started going on and on about how they could read more, spend more time in the kitchen, watch TV, work on projects they’d all been wanting to do, and just have time to play.

I was shocked.  I thought everyone would be heartbroken.  I started thinking….WOW…we really were going to have time AT HOME.  I didn’t know what that meant, so I started making a list of some of the things I could do with more time at home.  My list mirrored theirs in many ways.

I could read, to myself and to them.  I had a huge list of books that I wanted to read and that I was longing to share with them.

I could write.  They could write.  We had all gotten penpals a while back and were HORRIBLE at writing to them.  This would change. We all enjoyed writing stories and would actually have time to.  I could write letters to family members, something I hadn’t done in years, even though I had an envious stack of stationary.

We could spend time in the kitchen.  I would have time to actually plan a menu and then make the meals I planned.  They could all help me. While I may not be the best or most experienced cook in the world, we could learn together.  Baking! I would have time to bake; and not just from a boxed mix. Baking had always been something that I’d loved to do.  It was a huge stress reliever for me, but I did not enjoy or have time to do the dishes and clean up afterwards. I now would, or (gasp) they could help me.

Chores.  I would have time to clean up and organize before the baby came.  Our house was a nightmare at the time. There were piles everywhere because we were never home long enough to actually put things away.  I was going to be able to decorate and re-arrange and have everything in order. Now, I was really starting to get excited about this new chapter we were embarking on as well.

Projects.  The kids wanted to do projects and I had list after list of projects I wanted to do with them(this was before the days of Pinterest).  I also wanted to get back in to scrapbooking, which I hadn’t been able to do since I’d had my third baby.

I was ecstatic!  I was going to be able to start doing the things I’d wanted to be doing all along.  Plus, the kids were excited about the prospect of being home. I could not believe this was happening.  I started making phone calls to pull the kids out of their activities. Not everyone I contacted seemed to understand nor did they share my excitement.  But, I have to say, after each phone call, a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. By the time I’d made all the calls, I felt as light as a feather. I could not believe that all these “opportunities” for my children had actually become burdens.  And not just burdens for me, but for my whole family.

We were now free to just be us.  To do what we needed and wanted to do.  We were finally HOMEschooling. This taught me that homeschooling isn’t about seeing how many activities you can squeeze in, but it’s about being at home.  I’d always thought that if we stayed home, I was somehow failing them. I began to realize that I’d put unrealistic expectations on all of us. The transition, not surprisingly, was pretty easy and simple.  No one ever complained or asked about going places. We still had our library and our gym day. We chose to stay involved in AWANA and 4H. The kids had each chosen one sport to continue with each season. Although I had many hiccups during this last pregnancy, this was probably my favorite chapter in our homeschooling experience.  We got the house decluttered and organized how I wanted it. We made this huge “under the sea” display board that took months to make and they could each recite everything they’d learned while making it. We put together a geography night right here, just for their dad and grandma to see. We cooked and baked all the time. We read and read and read.  We cuddled and watched TV and movies. We wrote stories and poems. I made picture collages for the walls. We all worked on our scrapbooks. We slowed down our pace of life. We turned our hearts toward spending time together, at home. I had everything in place when we brought home our baby. My husband was shocked at the difference, in our home and in our attitudes.  Our house was no longer just a stopping place during brief breaks between activities, but was now where we enjoyed spending our time and growing together as a family.

A couple years ago, that “baby” that had turned our world upside down(8 at this time) asked if he could join a homeschool co-op that some friends of his from 4H were in.  I realized, for the first time, that we’d never re-joined any of the homeschool activities that we’d been in. That is how little we missed them. I told him we could give it a try.  By this time, my daughter was a sr in high school and had no interest in doing that co-op again. My boys, 9th and 8th grade said they’d also give it a try. And so we did. For the 2 older boys, it lasted about 3 months and they were done.  My youngest finished out the year and wanted to sign up again the next year. I let him. He only went for a couple months of that 2nd year and started to see it as a burden. I didn’t make him finish. He wasn’t enjoying it and I’d rather be at home(see how that changed).  This school year, he is now 10, the boys are a sr and a jr, and none of them wanted to try it again. So, we didn’t; and I couldn’t be happier. We are still a busy family, but it’s the kind of busy we want and choose to be. We have our in home daycare, are still involved in 4H and AWANA, the oldest boy does jiujitsu, the 2nd boy swims and lifeguards, and the youngest does theater and dances.  Most of these commitments keep our evenings busy. During the days though, we enjoy HOMEschooling. Being home and sharing our home with the littles that come over every day.

It took me way too long to realize that the best part of homeschooling, is the being HOME part.  I no longer put pressure on myself or my children to be a part of every activity offered. There are a lot of great opportunities out there nowadays for homeschoolers. I’m not saying that joining in on these offerings is wrong or a mistake.  It is so important to realize that not every activity, no matter how amazing it sounds, is a fit for every family. And, you know what? That’s ok. Your family is unique and you have to do what’s right for your family. Remember the reasons you wanted to homeschool, and don’t be afraid to say NO!   We only have the privilege of homeschooling for a set number of years and it’s important to spend them the way you dreamed of.  There will always be activities and events. This chapter of spending time at home with your children will not always be there, so enjoy it while you can!